Population 51201

So tonight I was meant to be going out for fun and games at Trailer Trash at the Brighton Komedia - a raging club night themed around various cult films. Tonight's event is inspired by the ever-awesome David Lynch, and I was planning to dress up as Twin Peaks' resident teen temptress, Miss Audrey Horne. She wears some super cure geek chic outfits (when she isn't out infiltrating clandestine brothels, that is), and the iconic quality of her wardrobe makes it ideal for fancy dress.

I had my outfit all picked out - great wig, checked skirt, tight little burgundy sweater. I don't really have an appropriate pair of black and white shoes, but my brogues looked great, and I figured I could make do. Plus, Audrey's make up is so distinctive that I decided it would be easy to channel the Horne, even if the costume itself wasn't exactly spot on. I was looking forward to drawing on a beauty spot, slipping on an Alice band, and pencilling in some dark, arched eyebrows.

Alas, however, my preparations have been in vain. I am way to ill to go - pretty much suffered an asthma attack and had to be hooked up to a nebuliser and pumped full of antibiotics - so I'll have to stay home whilst my Agent Cooper husband and his awesome friends live it up. Boo hoo! I guess it's just you and me tonight, Audrey, you bonkers sexpot ...

I dress like a nerd, but I did get the grades

My vibe was more librarian than neon today - an old pair of taupe paperbag waist trousers from Zara, a burgundy Asos polo neck, and some nerdy, tortoiseshell-framed glasses. I finished the look with the ultimate geek chic accessory, too - a PhD thesis. Yes, after approximately three years and two weeks of exhausting, frustrating, and massively fulfilling doctoral research, I today handed in my magnum opus. Winner!

Besides the all-important thesis, I accessorized my look with some little brown loafers (£14 from Peacocks!) and a fruity Kenneth Jay Lane necklace. I am still waiting for somebody to look at this piece and say 'Nice pear.' Come on people! It's a Carry On gag waiting to happen! 

Right now, however, this outfit is in a heap in the corner, and I'm slumped on the couch in a fleecy onesie. I was up until 6 o'clock this morning proof reading my work, and I only managed to get about three hours sleep before I was up and on the train to uni. Now it's most definitely my bed time. I just hope I don't have nightmares about my Viva...