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So tonight I was meant to be going out for fun and games at Trailer Trash at the Brighton Komedia - a raging club night themed around various cult films. Tonight's event is inspired by the ever-awesome David Lynch, and I was planning to dress up as Twin Peaks' resident teen temptress, Miss Audrey Horne. She wears some super cure geek chic outfits (when she isn't out infiltrating clandestine brothels, that is), and the iconic quality of her wardrobe makes it ideal for fancy dress.

I had my outfit all picked out - great wig, checked skirt, tight little burgundy sweater. I don't really have an appropriate pair of black and white shoes, but my brogues looked great, and I figured I could make do. Plus, Audrey's make up is so distinctive that I decided it would be easy to channel the Horne, even if the costume itself wasn't exactly spot on. I was looking forward to drawing on a beauty spot, slipping on an Alice band, and pencilling in some dark, arched eyebrows.

Alas, however, my preparations have been in vain. I am way to ill to go - pretty much suffered an asthma attack and had to be hooked up to a nebuliser and pumped full of antibiotics - so I'll have to stay home whilst my Agent Cooper husband and his awesome friends live it up. Boo hoo! I guess it's just you and me tonight, Audrey, you bonkers sexpot ...

The Future is Full of Virtual Haircuts

For many people, the prospect of taking a trip to the hairdressers can be both stressful and unwelcome. You need only witness the makeover episodes of Top Model to realize how emotive an issue hair can be - a bad cut or a shoddy dye job can completely effect the way that a person feels about herself. If you're thinking of having a restyle but are wary about experimenting, I recommend the InStyle Hollywood Hair Virtual Makeover.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it basically allows you to upload a photograph of yourself, and then to 'try on' celebrity styles like so many unflattering wigs. You can easily tweak the cuts so that they sit more or less correctly, and it can provide literally hours of good, time waste-y fun. In my experience, it tends to work best if the photo shows you face on to the camera, and the colour can sometimes come out a little odd, but other than that, it's pretty nifty. If you have no idea what suits you, or are just keen to explore ideas in a totally commitment-free way, then this might be the tool for you.

Predictably, I didn't use the Virtual Makeover do anything as useful as planning my next style. Instead, I threw myself into trying on the weirdest celebrity looks I could find. Below are some of the images I came up with - three (pretty crazy) alternative realities of my wedding day!

Gwen Stefani

Evan Rachel Wood

Katy Perry

More Sugary Shades: Marni Spring 2012

The Marni collection, shown as part of Milan Fashion Week, ticked all of my style boxes: bright colours; bold patterns; sharp collars; and neat, vintage-y shapes. In some ways, it was vaguely reminiscent of the Mulberry Spring 2012 show, particularly in its use of ankle socks and ice cream shades.

So pretty, and I love the slim-fitting organza slips peeping out from beneath the different skirt lengths. For me, though, it was the eccentric, retro-feel prints that really stole the show.

I love the complementary yet mismatched use of pattern, and I am particularly enamoured with the spotted look. I think the houndstooth check bag works perfectly, and the contrasting polka dots of the dress and the collar would be such a fun look to try at home. It certainly wasn't an understated collection, then, and yet there was a certain clean elegance about it. I just hope that the high street takes note; I will be thoroughly disappointed now if the shops of Spring 2012 aren't saturated with sugar-high shades and brave, bold prints.

Super-Bright Loafers: The Ultimate Neon Librarian Shoe?

As much as I love my little brown loafers, I am very much into all the super-bright footwear that's around at the moment. I came across a particularly gorgeous neon pink pair in Topshop at the weekend (see below), but colourful flats are cropping up all over the place right now.

• Pink Tassel Brogues by Topshop, £30

• Leather Tassel Loafers by Asos, £50

• Bow Loafer Flats by Schuh, £65

• Suede Loafers by Topshop, £28 

• Coral Canvas Loafer by Office, £30

I think what I like best about these shoes is the juxtaposition between their neat, scholastic shape and their jolly festive colour schemes. There is a real sense of a joyful disjunction between function and frivolity here, and I love it. I'm sure all five pairs would prove a valuable edition to my wardrobe; coupled with some contrasting coloured tights, they would fit in perfectly with my current 'Revenge of the Neon Nerd' look. 

Indeed, I did come perilously close to buying that pink Topshop pair - £30 is so cheap for something so beautiful! - but I was already buying a coat, a spotted dress, and some austere black wedge-heeled boots, and the shopper's guilt would have been too much. Plus, I already have a perfectly functional pair of non-garish loafers and some purple lace-up brogues; all of my sartorial bases are pretty much covered without the addition of these lovelies. Nonetheless, should anybody out there be looking to get me a PhD viva present, I can assure you that the neon pink pair in a size 6 would go down a storm!

Further Adventures in Fabric

I am continuing to love the time sink that is Spoonflower, and have yet to stop tinkering with various designs. In a slight change of pace, I have moved on from the more painterly themes I started out with, and am currently exploring scientific imagery. Medical scans, fractals, and images obtained using electron microscopes can make for some surprising pretty textiles designs. The three prints below, for example, are all based around microscopic photographs.

The middle one is my favourite. It has a kind of woven, almost folky feel to it. My only concern is that the pattern might be a wee bit small. The design might lose some of its impact when viewed from a distance. Here's what a yard of the fabric would look like:

Still cute to my eye - it could potentially work nicely as a kind of contemporary kilting fabric - but it undoubtedly loses something of its delicacy and nuance. I'm still playing, anyway, so I'll let you know how I progress.

Socks with Everything

As I mentioned in my review of the Mulberry show, I am very pleased by the number of little socks on the Spring 2012 catwalks. They've cropped up at Anna Sui, Marc Jacobs, House of Holland, and elsewhere.

Anna Sui, Spring 2012

Marc Jacobs, Spring 2012

House of Holland, Spring 2012 (Images from Style.com)

This suits me, because my ankle sock obsession is pretty much out of control right now. I've long been working socks as a daytime accessory to add a jolt of colour or quirk to an otherwise unremarkable ensemble...

... but the day version turned out to be a gateway sock. I've now graduated onto the harder stuff, and have started working socks for evening. I get some funny looks wearing this Calvin Klein dress with a white vintage belt, gold Marks and Spencer's shoes, and pink Topshop ankle socks, but it just feels so right! I am definitely not ready to let this micro-trend go just yet, and plan to try socks with everything until well into the new year!

The Love Bug

Earlier in the week, I promised you a post on insect-themed jewellery, and today is the day that I deliver! Below is a list of my top five pieces. A couple of them stray a little toward cutesy, I'll admit, but I think that the creepy crawly element keeps them just the right side of the line. My favourite? Well, I love the Gogo Philip scarab necklace (less chunky in real life, and very hip for Spring 2012), but the winner for me has to be the Topshop bug earrings. I love their detailed wings and iridescent shimmer. Long live creepy jewellery!

• Bug Pendent by New Look, £4.99

•  Bee Ring by Topshop, £15

•  Gogo Philip Scarab Necklace from Asos, £16

• Bee Studs by New Look, £4.99 (part of a set)

• Bug Studs by Topshop, £5.00

Wouldn't it be Nice if we were Younger?

The Guardian recently drew my attention to this super-cute duffel coat by Boden. I love the classic shape, the toggle detailing, the gorgeous colours, and the reasonable £60 price tag. I am just a bit gutted that it's only for children! I don't think there's much chance of me squeezing into the 13 - 14 years size. Waaah!

This little number got me browsing other kids' ranges for inspiration, and I must say that I am very jealous of the nation's youngsters. There is some truly lovely stuff around at the moment. At the risk of infantilizing myself, I have composed a list of five children's items that I would like to supersize.

• Boys' Suede Boots by Joules, £49.95

I love these Chelsea-style booties, which come in chic, sandy-coloured suede with contrasting navy detailing. If I could get they in my size, I'd work them with a printed dress and some woollen tights.

• Patterned Dress by Monsoon, £32

This is a lovely item, reminiscent of certain Anna Sui pieces. I like its folky feel, autumnal palette, and button detailing. If I wasn't a great big grown-up, I'd aim for a 1970s vibe, and style this with a tan leather handbag and a pair of flat knee-high boots.

• Giraffe Jumper by Cath Kidston, £32

It's good to see the giraffe being represented - it's a more offbeat choice than the cute and cuddly creatures typically found on girls' clothes! I also really like that shade of grey, and think it would look great over a shirt. I could totally see this slotting into my wardrobe.

• Stella McCartney Dress from La Redoute, £30.50

This, to my eye, is just gorgeous. The simplicity of the design is really refreshing - especially in a marketplace saturated with girlish, cutesy frocks. The pink is chic rather than saccharin, the Granddad collar is an unconventional choice, and the pin-tuck detailing in the front stops the minimalism from segueing into austerity. Bravo, Stella!

• Boys' Jumper by Monsoon, £28

I think this is so cute! The shape makes it look almost like a cropped jumper from a women's wear collection, but I love it as an item for boys too - the colours are so zesty and happy! If I could find an adult version of this, I would rock it with straight-leg jeans and maybe the Joules suede Chelsea boots pictured above; I think it would be kind of a cool, laid back way to work the heritage trend.

So, it turns out that the price isn't the only enviable thing about kids' clothes. I just hope I can find adult pieces with the same attention to detail and sense of fun.

Elizabeth Olsen Gives Good Collar

I don't really know much about Elizabeth Olsen, except that she's the actress sister of Mary Kate and Ashley. I have become aware of her mostly through the Style.com app on my iPhone. Her chipper little face keeps cropping up in candid party shots, and she always - but always - looks amazing. It helps that she's beautiful and that she's got great hair, but her outfits are pretty nifty too.

I really love what she's wearing at the Missoni for Target launch (directly above), and I can actually imagine it being pretty easy to achieve at home; all you'd need is a patterned sleeveless shift, a clean white shirt, coloured tights, and a pair of lace-ups. She's lucky the style gene (like the acting gene) runs in the family. I mean, if your sisters name a high-end fashion label after you, the pressure must really be on to hold your end up.

Do the Skull and Bones!

I've always struggled a bit with bling. I rarely come across stuff that I really love, and as a result, my outfits tend toward under-embellishment. Over the past few months, though, I've finally started to figure out why I stay away from jewellery; it often feels too feminine or too delicate for my aesthetic. I'm all for a maximalist approach to dressing, but a lot of the pieces I come across feel fussy in the wrong way.

So, in the interests of broadening my style horizons, I've been making the effort to experiment with those tougher, less girly pieces which might prove a better fit with my personal style. This has involved a lot of animal skulls, for some reason, as the images below will demonstrate:

Woodpecker Skull Necklace

Stag skull necklace

Ram's Skull Necklace

Apologies for the shitty quality of that last image - I just snapped it right now. Apologies, too, that I cannot send you rushing off to the high street to buy your own creepy skull necklaces; all of mine came from craft fares and boutique-y places. I do have a post on creepy insect jewellery coming up, though, so be sure to stay tuned for that!

Whoever Said Times Tables Can't Be Hip?

This is a very cool little video. Each of the participants looks as if they've been dropped in from a street style blog, and it still feels fresh even though it was released back in 2009. Plus, it's catchy! Good job, The Phenomenal Handclap Band!

Pretty Like Drugs: Mulberry Spring 2012

Everybody knows that Mulberry makes some very beautiful arm candy - chic, iconic, and fabulous quality. For those of us who find their 'aspirational' price point as absurd as it is unachievable, however, Mulberry bags offer little to inspire. Who wants a cheap knock off of a Bayswater or an Alexa? The designs themselves are perfectly lovely, of course, but the very point of these items is their quality and their heritage. You either fork out for a Mulberry or you don't; there's not much else to play with.

It's for this reason that I found the the styling of the Spring 2012 collection (available to view now at Style.com) to be of more interest than the much-coveted bags. Despite the British seaside theme, I found myself thinking of Valley of the Dolls; it's something about that go-go girl hair combined with the pretty-like-drugs colour scheme. I like that idea a lot - that Mulberry's sugary tones speak as much of barbiturates as they do of the seaside or the playground.

I am loving the addition of the little ankle socks, too; I am a big fan of adding socks to everything right now, and I'm glad that I'll still be able to get away with it come spring. Perhaps my favourite looks of the collection are the two below, however, simply because they make me giggle. I mean, who wouldn't want to walk down the street looking like a giant tube of Refreshers?!